come join my circus


and i'm juggling all the thoughts in my head
i'm juggling and my fear's on fire
but i'm listening as it evolves in my head
i'm balancing on one fine wire

i remember the time my balance was fine
and i was just walking on one fine wire
but it's frayed at both the ends
and i'm slow unravelling

self-destructive


so sick of all the "he says, she says",
so weary of the lies and cover-ups;
tired of being just one of many,
had enough of empty gestures, insincere words.

-----
sometimes, i really don't know
whether i should feel amused or disgusted.

-----
the worst bastard is the one who pretends he's not a bastard.

-----
took a slow walk home tonight,
just me, my music and a silent world.
darkness punctuated by the glow of street lamps,
borrowed light that shone on nothing and everything.
i see more clearly at times like these,
picking through the rubble in my mind,
unearthing what little that made sense,
attempting to rescue myself.

-----
there's nothing like a bout of illness
to bring about melancholic pensiveness.
only kaskade's "borrowed theme" on loop
and the whirl in my head
are keeping me company on this lonely night.

cycling, clubbing, cooking, chilling

i've always wanted to bike in san francisco so i jumped at the chance of accomplishing just that this time round, since i had jon with me and he wanted to go for a ride too. we took the cable car to fisherman's wharf where we loaded up with a proper breakfast and got ourselves a couple of bikes from blazing saddles. was a tad wobbly at the start as it has been yonks since i was last on a bicycle but i guess it's one of those skills you learn and will never lose.


had to fight several uphill battles at the beginning and my legs were jelly before we even got to the golden gate bridge.


it got much better once we reached the bridge and it was an easy ride across. i had a ball whizzing down the steep slopes to sausalito.


have heard so much about sausalito that when i got there, i was a tad disappointed by how similar it is to one of those little towns i'd encountered on road trips along the great ocean road in melbourne. it's still a rather charming place though and, according to a lady we met, nothing has changed since she was last there ten years ago or something. we spent the afternoon popping into quaint shops and art galleries (where we discovered daniel merriam and i nearly bought a print of one of his pieces).


one pizza later, we took our sunburnt selves to the ferry point to get back to fisherman's wharf, only to find that the ferry we wanted to get on had been cancelled. we sprawled on the concrete beside the waters, baked in the blazing sun and had an ice cream in the forty minutes we had to wait before the next ferry.

knackered but finally back in the city, we spent the night recuperating and headed out early the next morning to do a spot of shopping. macy's was having a sale that day and i got suckered into buying a couple of previously-ridiculously-priced goose down pillows that were so comfy i nearly fell asleep while trying them out on the counter.


we looked rather silly walking around town hugging those pillows.

one very long and tiring flight later, we were back in hong kong and, since it was friday night, we headed out to lan kwai fong even though it was pouring. got wet even after the kindly cabbie gave us his brolly and my heels turned into capsized boats. met eric who took us to pi where i stayed for a glass of orange juice before leaving jon and his friends to join old schoolmates, eric, ken and matt at privé.


privé's supposedly one of the leading clubs in hk but the music there that night sucked. for all its exclusivity, there weren't all that many beautiful people either. it was good catching up with charmaine and shijie though, and finding out that my primary schoolmate is charme's boyfriend was a pleasant surprise. the world is terribly small.

my last day in hong kong was a quiet one spent chilling and contemplating. i want all confusion and complications to cease to exist. (yay. many "c" words).

back in singapore after what seemed like a really long trip away from home, i got no rest before we went shooting! i was all hyped up but fatigue and a nagging headache proved to be a downer. it was still great fun though.


ended the day with a father's day dinner as deedee's back for good, an aching arm, tired eyes and a sore, itchy throat. sweeeeet.

without trust, there would be no betrayal

sun, sea and sand


postcards from bali:






wakeboard session after we got back:

friend or foe?


sometimes, i really don't know.

it's simple, really


i just want to be happy.

i now fly direct to new york

spending more than 18 hours cooped up in a little metal bird will drive anyone crazy, especially with call bells going off every 5 minutes, greedy nincompoops who can't seem to quit eating, and a flooded galley.

we all ended up laughing hysterically at, er, nothing, drawing lines, throwing newspapers on the floor and acting more than a little insane.

new york was crowded, sunny and warm (finally!). slept the entire first day away and only got up at dinner time when elizabeth arrived. a sleepless night then bleecker street the second day with karen and pinkberry, marc by marc jacobs, urban outfitters, lulu guiness, fresh and magnolia cupcakes before lunch in k-town with liz followed by a long walk up 5th ave ending with abercrombie and fitch. wendy flew in that evening and three sleepy girls had chinese takeaway in my room. breakfast at cafe metro on the third day with the girls then a spot of last minute 5th ave-ing before napping the afternoon away and preparing for the long flight back.

it's so good to be home.