am currently helping out at the singapore red cross society (thanks to ah hock for providing me with the opportunity)...do come over to visit me (riiite...haha) and to make a donation in aid of the victims of tidal wave 2004...any amount will be greatly appreciated...
the singapore red cross society is situated at 15 penang lane...just behind parkmall...ah hock and i and the rest of the money-counting, receipt-writing volunteers will be there from 9am to 2pm daily...errr well that's the 'official' shift we're on...we stayed till 5pm today...haha hopefully minmin will join us tomorrow (and we'll try not to stay on so late haha)!!!
but yeah..other ways of making monetary donations include phoning, sms-ing, and going onto the dbs website...for any other enquiries...don't hesistate to drop me a line...
meanwhile, have a very happy new year folks!!! hello 2005!!!
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
in memory of all those who perished so tragically in tidal wave asia 2004...
such an epic event...and it happened so suddenly that it caught everyone by surprise...the images of the huge waves, the tons of water rushing onto beaches and gushing into hotels, and those of destroyed properties...rapidly replaced by images of those who have been affected by this tragedy...
rows upon endless rows of the dead - bloated, rotting, stiff...the thousands injured - horrible slashes marring their bodies...the distress of those still living - breaking down at the sight of the body of a loved one, hope slowly turning into despair for those frantically searching for the missing...the thousands of little children who lost their lives, family members, and homes...
why weren't we forewarned? with the technology of today allowing us time to flee from volcano eruptions and earthquakes, i'd naively thought that all areas have been covered and such natural disasters won't strike in such a major way.
the close of the year brings yet another humbling reminder of the fragility of life and our vulnerability when faced with the larger forces in this world...
our mourning continues.
Monday, December 27, 2004
silent moments spent
just gazing at your face.
looking helplessly
as your jaw tightens.
seeing the mask shield
the pain and the hurt.
pulling a cover
over your internal distress.
all i can do
is pull you in for a hug.
soothe you with my hands
and comfort when i can.
my ears hear your pleas
my heart feels what you do not say.
i want to kiss
all that pain away.
my wounded soldier
i'm here for you.
it was good to see my babes last night...your hugs and company made me feel the genuine warmth and love that is sometimes so sorely lacking in this world...
i'm really sorry that i wasn't able to make any contributions to the gathering...but i'm glad i managed to pop by...and i'm glad i got to wish everyone a merry christmas...
thank you to loon for your wonderful house...
thank you to the food providers for feeding me...
thank you to ang for surprising me with such a wonderful present (new & improved DIVA super sensitive body detergent (high maintenance formula) - very apt for super sensitive me!)...
thank you all for the laughs...
thank you to my babes, for just being there...
i'm having a quiet chrismas filled with love...it's like a return to old times...and i hope it'll never end......
one thing that made me sad however, was what i witnessed on christmas day itself...a gathering of friends, and yet, i've never seen a group so divided...how can friends treat each other in such a way? how can they just walk out without a word? when nothing has been worked out, nothing said, nothing understood...it takes two people to make a friendship work, and it's sad when only one is making the effort and the other doesn't even seem to care...
actions and words, all so fake and so pretentious...so very disappointing...so very hurtful...
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
2nd report from MELBOURNE!!!!!! hiakhiakhiak
it's a sunny 24 degrees here today (WOOHOOOOO *does a backflip...then falls flat on my butt*) ... flies are a-buzzing, wind a-blowing, dust making me er... a-sneezing??? haha
am in uni for what will probably be the last time for a longlong while...i will miss sitting here in rowden white library, typing away...will miss walking on the lawns...miss the old and new buildings that make up my campus...miss the crowds in union house...miss getting 'skinny mocha' from plush fish...miss walking into class (late)...i'll even miss paying exhorbitant prices for my education... *bawls*
it is official...i am a GRADUATE *shudder* haha had my graduation ceremony on wednesday...old fashioned ceremony, complete with me looking like a bah zhang in the gown...feel cheated though, coz i didn't get to wear a mortar board...or what they call, a TRENCHER (!!!)...coz trenchers are only for those who are getting their MASTERS...undergrads only get to wear the gown..how unfair is that?!?!?! almost makes me want to stay here for another year to do my postgrad just so i can wear that trencher...ALMOST...haha
the doctorate grads get to wear BONNETS hahaha it's quite funny-looking...but prestigious i guess...and they get to sit on stage with the chancellor and all...
it's so cute the way the big-wigs walk down the aisle to take their places on stage...no one can sit before the chancellor sits..and there's alot of bonnet-tipping going around coz it's their way of greeting each other...and everytime someone goes to the mike and says "chancellor", they have to tip their bonnets to the chancellor, and the chancellor has to tip his bonnet to them...haha all very quaint...gives the entire ceremony a very traditional feel...
damn i didn't have a bonnet or a trencher to get into the tipping action... ~
but it was all in all a very lovely ceremony...felt kinda proud to be sitting there...even though it's just a lala bachelor degree that i'm getting...haha an associate professor gave a speech...and tied it in to her field of studies - medieval history...talked about how some perceive the uni as an "ivory tower"..and how some see everyone within the university as so far removed from the "real world"...quite an interesting speech...
and i feel so blessed to have some of the guys come down specially to take photos with me and to congratulate me for finally making it to this end of the education system...makes me feel like my time here has been even more fulfilling coz i've made such wonderful friends... *beam*
but i miss my gracie...melbourne isn't the same without you...you who have stood by me throughout these 3 years...you who have suffered whenever i was being a pain in the ass...you with whom i have had so many wonderful wonderful times...
i miss our apartment....went past it a few times...and all i could do was gaze up and wish we're still living there..
was walking down chapel street yesterday, and i thought back on how the 2 of us would stroll down chapel gaily, poppnig into the shops, trying on tons of clothes, and buying the most expensive ones...haha *muackz* i love you babe... =)
walking down chapel with my mum and sis wasn't quite so good an experience...coz my mum doesn't want to spend money....and my sis and i had a horrid time diverting our eyes from the manymany gorgeous things on display...i can't believe i've been here for almost 10 days..and i haven't bought a single thing......oh sorrows......haha
ah well....at least i got to eat..haha dessert house (TWICE!), tiamo, stokers, lamb on chapel, gelati (TWICE! going to be THRICE! haha), boba, grecko (TWICE!) don don, mekong, tonkatsu mee, indomie... ... *smack lips* i look like a fishball once again...haha
ahh but i've been exercising! haha not enough to burn off all that i've consumed, but i've gone for baddy 3 times this week, including a competition last night...am aching so bad, even my bones are sore..haha punishment for not exercising for so long!!!
newayz...last 2 days in melbourne, before i make my way over to sydney to pester bigben for 4 days...then it's back to singapore i go!!! shall hurry and get outa this library, go grab some food at YING THAI 2 (hehz), then get underwear at myers *nudge gracie* haha and maybe i will go to crown for one last time tonight...haha i won $25 on monday when i went with glenn, ah lou and gerald...wootwoot! roulette has yet to let me down..haha
time to get off my butt...see you all back in singapore!!! jap chrissy party on 26dec!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 13, 2004
greetings from....*drumroll* MELBOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!!
wootwoot!!! *wave wave*
it's cold today...have been raining quite abit over here...though there have been sunny patches and the weather looks to be getting warmer as we head towards the end of the week (do i sound like a weathergirl or what!?)
haha melbourne's the same as ever...it's only when i stepped onto melbourne soil that i realized just how much i've missed this place...mum, fawn and i are staying at somerset on elizabeth..this serviced apartment that's nice and cosy...not to mention it's right smack in the middle of the city (on elizabeth street between la trobe and bourke)...
there's been changes since i was last here...new buildings, major constructions etc...the new GPO houses a ben sherman boutique that currently has the caricature heads of prince charles, camilla parker bowles, prince william and gang attached to their window display models...it's quite a laugh to see the head of the QUEEN attached to the young, supple plastic body of a model with gorgeous legs...haha
melbourne central's all made up and construction has completed...it now houses some of the top brands and is like this one-stop shopping complex...haven't bought anything though..mum's holding the purse strings pretty tight..i haven't even ventured into my favourite MOLLINI'S!!!
shopping aside...i drove (yes ME! I DROVE!!!) more than 1400km in 3 days MUAHAHA we rented a camry and were typical tourists...drove down great ocean road...almost fell asleep at the wheel on the highway back to the city!!! i was SO tired after being on the roads for about 16hours! just closed my eyes and next thing i knew it, my mum OEI-ed me and when i opened my eyes, my car had drifted half into the right lane...it's a good thing there wasn't a car *phew*
went to the dandenongs the next day..followed by phillip island that night..the trees are all still standing magnificently, miss marples still have shiok scones (mmmmm CRREEEEAAAAMMMMM *nudge nudge fengmin & gracie & netty*), and those cute little penguins are still waddling about...
i'm carless again, after that road trip...and it's prob a good thing coz it's hell looking for parking in the city...but i'm like this tour guide without a tour bus and i keep having to rack my head to think up of places to bring mum and fawn...bleahz...
left them to the mercy of the city yesterday and went to play baddy in uni! woohoo! haha haven't held a racket since my last training session here before i left melbourne in august...thank goodness i can still play...somewhat...haha got tired SO SOON though...that's how unfit i am right now..but it's so good to see everyone and to exercise again...
gonna meet up with genie later on tonight...and maybe glenn will come too even though he hasn't replied to my sms and his parents are here....i think we shall go for STEAKS at TIAMO!!! woot woot!!! hahaha
Sunday, December 05, 2004
this year has been an eventful one that has opened my eyes to many things about myself and the people around me.
in the quest to learn more about myself and to understand what exactly is going on with me, i've seen that i am weak, overly emotional and way too sensitive about things.
i do not have the strong will to make a definite decision on the direction certain things should take...i do not have the courage to change a course...i do not have the strength to start afresh...
i procrastinate and i hope that things work out by themselves...i hope that what i say and what i do spontaneously can help me decide where i go...but it doesn't work that way does it? coz my mind and heart are weak and my thoughts and feelings often contradict...sometimes i don't know which one to listen to...sometimes i allow one or the other to lead the way, then they switch roles in the midst, and i am left all the more confused and dejected...
sometimes i feel lonely, and i know that the only person to be blamed for being in the shits is myself...coz even if i attempt to start on something anew...i may not have the courage to follow it through...certain setbacks hurt me alot...and sometimes it is difficult to get out of a hellhole without a helping hand...other times, i feel i just refuse that hand, and, for some reason or other, i choose to continue wallowing in the dark...
i am afraid of losing what i have...or what i think i have...i am afraid of losing what i can have...but perhaps this fear, is making me an even greater loser...
sometimes i feel that i should just stay in my little cocoon and not come out...so i won't hurt anyone...and i won't get hurt
but if i do that...i guess i will never learn......
