a postcard from the freezing conference room in sweltering bangkok......

it's been a pretty good couple of days here..preparation for the event seems to be going well..and i'm having much more fun than when i had in bali...just completed putting 400 gift packs together...this meant:

• folding the boxes from scratch (3 parts - the bottom, the lid and the middle part to hold the items in place)
• cutting 400 lengths of silver string
• tying the strings to the tags
• unwrapping and putting the cocktail shakers together (they came in 2 parts - lid and bottom - and had to wear gloves so won't get fingerprints on them)
• tagging the shakers
• putting them in the boxes
• putting 1600 tea bags in specially designed cases
• putting the 4 tea bags in each box
• fixing the lids on the boxes
• and boxing the boxes in prep for transportation to the venue of the welcome dinner (have to go by boat up the chao phraya river)

great sense of satisfaction now that it's finally all done...took the greater part of 2 days...those clients'd better treat their gifts with care...and many thanks to my 2 thai helpers, and my colleagues who switched roles with me and chipped in once in awhile when they tired of doing their own stuffs...

first part of the trip didn't go all too well though - it took a million years for us to clear customs - the queues were so long and crawling at snail pace, our welcome guy wasn't holding a prominent signboard, the van-ride to the hotel made me car-sick, and the hotel took another million years to check us in..

PLUS the bellboy disappeared with our baggages even before we were given our room numbers. WE = 4 people in 3 different rooms, with at least 1 baggage each...i duno what the guy did with the bags while we're checking in..but he eventually went room by room with the baggages piled onto one trolley, and *dingdong* "which bag is you?"

these don't bode well, as all the guests and clients are going to have to go through everything we did once they touch down...and i don't think they'll be all to happy with that..but we've spoken to all the people working with us, so hopefully there won't be anymore delays/screw-ups..

the hotel - royal orchid sheraton - isn't as gorgeous as the ritz in bali..and the people here don't speak english as well as the balinese...but the whole place's got it's own special feel...

makan has been pretty decent..my first meal was a yummy green curry from a cafe next to the hotel (it's called SALA CAFE...sounded abit erm..WRONG...)...and had dinner in chinatown last night - mmm seafood...we even saw a fight between 2 men in the middle of the street! the roadside stalls outside the hotel sells all kinds of bugs and icky crawly stuffs for consumption *shudder* ooooo but thai iced coffee tastes great...still haven't tried the thai iced tea though..suppose to taste really good!

ahhh back to work...meeting at 9pm, now waiting for a colleague to buy back dinner...hope i can get a little more sleep tonight!!!

DAMMIT!!! wakeboard world champs at bedok reservoir this weekend!!! why oh why do i have to be in bangkok!??! ARGH!!! WASTED!!!

i miss wakeboarding i miss wakeboarding i miss wakeboarding i miss wakeboarding i miss wakeboarding i miss wakeboarding i miss wakeboarding

i am working my ass off now so that i'll have the money to wakeboard when i come back..

let's go wakeboard sometime during my birthday week!!!

a photo of my wares from supermarket shopping in bali..all these are for the recreational packs we put together for the clients...

too much coffee gives me a headegg
too much tea gives me insomnia

i think i should just stick to water.

everything's spun on an intricate web of deceit
ignorance is bliss?

entire chapters built on a multitude of lies
what i don't know won't hurt me?

care and concern
it's just a facade.

friendship's just an illusion
easily shattered.

go the distance?
quit dreaming.

hurtful accusations and unfounded distrusts
what the fuck did i do to deserve all these?

a desperate attempt to understand what's wrong
all i get in return is a swat in the face.

discuss and work things through
oh please, do you think they give a damn?

i think, i feel, i try to make sense of things
but it takes two hands to clap.

to say that i am disappointed would be a gross understatement.

friendship - perhaps i am, after being alive for 21 years, still too idealistic and naive to truly fathom the workings of human-human interaction.

i thought friendship meant

- that i won't be lied to
- that my friends would know that i'd try my utmost not to hurt them
- that my friends would know what kinda person i am
- shared fun and laughter
- when the going gets tough, i won't get ditched & pushed aside
- shared sorrows & tears
- support & encouragement
- that my friends'll tell me if they're unhappy with me, & what they're unhappy about
- that my friends will help make me a better person
- that i can help make my friends better people
- that my friends know how much i care
- mutual respect
- trust

but i guess that's just me being in my own lalaland

a colleague of mine had to bring a carton of stuffs onto the plane from bali back to singapore...

the SQ ground staff at bali asked her, "what's in the box?"
she said, "files and paper."

i looked at the label attached to the carton when it got back to the office...scribbled on it was:

FAILS/PAPPER

i've had a great 2 days since i returned from bali...doubt and confusion sometimes clouded me..but on the whole, i've had a fab time...

actually went to sungei buloh yesterday morning coz xiang had to look at some mangroves for his geog project...took a stroll down the mangrove boardwalk and spotted some crabs and a mudskipper in the swampy grounds...it was relaxing, not-too-mosquito-filled, and sweet...it's nice to do something out-of-the-ordinary...

a scary thing happened on our way home though...i'd my eyes closed and was just enjoying the ride when this resounding crash jolted me out of my reverie....turns out he'd dozed off at the wheel and we'd crashed into the PIE divider...thank god he swerved out immediately...the car had a long, nasty scratch on the driver's side, and his door's abit wonky now..but we still got home safe...i think what was most traumatic was that he had to tell his dad what had happened..........man.........i guess it's a good thing his dad was rushing to get out of the house and didn't have much time to scream at us...i didn't relish being in xiang's position...

we went to the esplanade for his performance in the evening....yup the SWIM SHADYS strike again - this time at the ESPLANADE for the MADE IN SINGAPORE performance haha with mark and kenneth in the US, xiang had to rope in his sec schoolmate to play some of the guitar parts...saturday night's jamming practice went well...and i think yesterday's performance went ok too...yes there were hiccups and all..but hey, it's exposure, it's suppose to be fun...just learn from it and enjoy it...

it was a good thing they were the first to perform, coz towards 8pm, the drizzle got real bad and some of the other bands didn't get to perform...still managed to catch TIC TAC TONE (a vocal band with a female singer who looked and dressed like a gei-tai aunty but had a fantastic voice), and the UNIVERSAL BLUES BAND who were great and professional, though a tad draggy...was looking forward to watching ELECTRICO perform, but the rain had other ideas...we left at 9pm after a HOT dinner at thai express...

KO-ed once i got home......

i'm back from bali..and, sadly, back in the office :( ah wel..god knows i need the money...

wish i can say that bali's great, but it was almost all work and no play...i spent 90% of the time in the hotel - it was a great hotel, the ritz-carlton bali resort and spa - but i didn't get to enjoy it much..only managed to squeeze in a swim at the pool on the morning of my last day there..oooo that felt great..the scorching sun on my back as i lay on the deck-chair, sipping my chilled watermelon juice..hotel staff at my beck and call (do i sound evil or what?!)...mmm B L I S S...

but i didn't get to explore the rest of bali much..got to go to this supermarket called MATAHARI coz i needed to get 22kitkats, 34packets of chips, and 34mars bars to make a snack pack for the customers...of coz, i did abit of personal shopping and bought 10packets of indomie (yes gracie, the type we get in melbourne..i'll pass some to you =) )...

also got to go to kuta for awhile..2 very nice guys from our freight company's bali contact brought us around...only drove down the shopping strip though, didn't get to walk much...went into a few shops, but only managed to get a roxy bag for my sis...

and we drove past the site of the bali bombing..it was so so sad...a dark hole amidst rows of brightly-lit shops..charred fencing, ruined grounds...a choking reminder of what had happened......

a memorial has been built just opposite the bomb site...it's so white and new it seems almost insulting...people walking around and posing...it's become just another place for the tourists to visit and take photos...

went to this fabulous seafood place at jimbarang beach... Y U M ...it's quite a local place, which makes it mega cheap..and the food's so fresh...we sat on the sandy beach, with the waves coming in barely 10metres away and a star-filled sky above us... G O R G E O U S ...

but that was it..my bali escapade...have to go back sometime soon...just to relax and enjoy the place...

if i get a dollar for every "kombawa" said to me here in bali, i'll be a billionaire... ...

i'm not a bitch who'd steal anyone's boyfriend - especially when he belongs to one whom i considered one of my closest friends

and i do not like being treated like one.

went to caldecott hill to watch SINGAPORE IDOL last night!!!

only one guy can make me do such a thing......

yes, the virgin idoler (aka me) lost it last night...all coz of WENWEI and FENGMIN...

man.....there were so many people it was quite scary...i mean, it's only singapore idol?! i was feeling abit embarrassed to be there haha and i didn't have any banner to wave around, no loud whistle to blow...

i didn't even know who the idol contestants were...

but i'm glad i went...coz it turned out to be rather entertaining...from the lack luster performance of crowd (and fengmin)-favourite SYLVESTER, to the fantastic more-retro-than-disco-king TAUFIK......it was a highly amusing 2 hours...and the crowd was surprisingly loud! (but i guess they're all like family members or CHURCH friends of the contestants' or something)......

contestants who deserve special mention:

1. JERRY - he united the crowd with the most cringe-worthy performance of the night...everyone (sans the 6 fans he had - man, they should just go dig holes and hide inside for a decade) was just looking around making disgusted faces and laughing in a this-is-so-not-funny-get-him-outa-here way...he should stop smiling, stop singing, and just get himself locked up in a dark cellar or something

2. CHRISTOPHER - or, as feng told me, CHRISSY-POO to his adoring fans...his singing's WAY OFF, and he looks like he thinks he's damn handsome and superstar and singing sensation...GOODNESS!!! he's so super duper fat-trying-to-pass-off-as-muscular/sporty...and granted, his tan looked quite good on the screens, but i bet he's one of those fake tanners..or he's one of those icky gays who sit in the sun wearing only hot pink g-strings...ewwwww grossssss...

oh help...i'm turning into one of them talk-about-singapore-idol-fervently people.........

somebody kill me quick

it's my boss' birthday yesterday...

we got him an ass-shaped cake!!! haha it was quite funny...completely white (as if he's angmoh or something), buttcheeks and all...

he sliced it down the ass-crack...and some bits from the inside (blackforest - why do people always get blackforest cakes?!) dropped out as he removed the knife --- very like shitting..

thank god they didn't go with the plan to eat the cake off toilet
paper.

i thank my lucky stars that i can have fun and have a good laugh with the people at the office

i keep getting stomach-egg and i don't know why...have been like that for almost a week...so strange...

browsed through cleo yesterday and scanned through an article on how some boyfriends can be all sweet and romantic when its just the two of you, then become almost a complete stranger when in the company of others...

i think it's so macho-shit to treat your girlfriend like she's invisible, or like just a normal friend, when you're out...ok, no need to be all touchy feely and mushy urshy, but you know, there ought to be a slight difference in how you treat your special someone, and how you treat the rest - a warm glance now and then, shared smiles, a caring touch...you know? a "she's my girlfriend and i care for her" feel...NOT "she's my girlfriend, god help me"... ... ...

why are some guys afraid of showing affection (though not overtly!) when they are out?

is it just me when i feel like they don't want me around anymore?
or do i just always call at the wrong time?

hate it when i feel a sneeze at the back of my nose, but just CAN'T get it out!!! RAH!!!

i love a good sneeze...

one event down, two more (for now) to go...

last night's Opening of Boutique Roger Dubuis at the Grand Hyatt went superbly well *phew* i'm so happy with my choice of ushers *beam* and big thank yous to pet and gracie for helping me out with the red carpet decor...

the darn taitais wore clothes that look like they came straight off the walkway *jealous* designer labels from head to toe, dripping in sparkling jewellery *twing twing* ... majority of the ladies looked really bad though...goes to show that having the money doesn't mean you have the good taste! muahaha they buy all those ridiculously priced clothes that look absolutely retarded...such a freaking waste of money...and their make-up *roll eyeballs* so thick you need a bulldozer to dig through the layers before you can see the actual face...

& it was BOTOX & boob job alert EVERYWHERE! stiff faces, non-jjiggling boobs...man, when will they learn that natural's the best way to go?!

and i swear these rich people are blind...noses so high up in the air that they can't see what's on the ground..kept kicking my candles and stepping on my petals...made the wax fly all over the place and petal marks all over the floor...pity the hotel staff who have to do clean-up...

oh but the watches sold by the shop are really gorgeous (guess they have to be, with the price ranging from $20,000 to $600,000) bleahz......crazy......

ah well..it's all over now *thank goodness* have been so so tired coz of the prep for this event...woke up in the middle of the night shaking uncontrollably and feeling feverish..that's scary...but the panadols seem to be working...need to get more sleep...zzZZZzzzzzZzzzz

working life of zenn'z:

- no social life
- work from 9am to 6pm..or 7pm..or 8pm..or 9pm..or 10pm..or forever
- i feel like i'm neglecting everyone - my family, my friends
- i don't meet up with my girlies much
- i don't know what everyone's up to
- i sleep 3 hours a day
- i catch up on sleep on weekends (saturday:11hours, sunday:11hours)
- i have no time to write in my blog
- i even have to do work stuffs on weekends
- i get paid peanuts
- haggard & weak
- look like shit
- but i do love the way my eyelashes have been curling without any aid from the curler
- eyebags are here to stay forever
- love it when there's casting & i get to bitch about yucky models
- love the roses i just ordered for tuesday's event
- i get food poisoning and puke at glutton square

sometimes i think i am the cruellest bitch in the world
sometimes i think i have no heart
sometimes i have to do things i don't want to, just coz i don't want to hurt anyone anymore

staying home, doing normal day-to-day homey stuffs, is the best kind of quality time two people can spend together

moments together in total comfort and bliss,
shared laughter, knowing glances,
playful tension, deep conversations

warmth, ease, security, joy

love

big thank yous to eddie, chua, ang, jp and niggie...for keeping me company and taking care of me last night at zouk and madmonk's.....i would have been so lonely without you guys...

DJ SCUD you rock!!! =)

thank you to my impromptu dinner mates...haha i'd have been at home eating instant mee if not for you...

doopz, your haircut's FINE......a very big improvement from the dirty hairy you used to be muahaha BABE!!!!!! hahahaha

at times, it's as if some of those i call "my friends", don't treat me like a friend at all

ever felt like hope was giving up on you?

ok..i don't think that made sense..

but i'm in a kind of senseless state...i'm moody again..

i don't know what i want, i can't get a job, my mind's nettled with a million things
i don't know who i am, what i am becoming
i can be part of a group laughing and talking, but still i feel lonely

i feel weak and i want someone to save me
i want someone to cuddle me and tell me everything'll be ok
i want warmth

i feel weak and i want someone to slap me
i want someone to shake me hard and tell me to wake up
i want love

simple, two-feet-on-the-ground, bear-huggy love

if someone slams a door in your face, do you walk away? or try to open it again?

if someone removes his helping hand, do you drown? or swim like hell to try to stay afloat?