kissing our moustache man goodbye

in fawn's words, "the next time I want to see him I will just have to close my eyes".

deedee, we love you.

a year on...


missing you all the more.

fact



lol

announcement

i would just like to say that magnolia bakery's meringue devil's food cupcake is THE BEST CUPCAKE IN THE WORLD. (till i try the mocha devil's food cupcake, that is. that's supposed to be even better!)

i'm not even usually a cupcake fan. yum!


is it just me or is my chatterbox not working?

a bird shat on me.

in new york for six days during fashion week - a last minute standbycallup that was totally unexpected and disrupted my meticulously planned schedule that i took heaps of time and four change of flight requests to achieve. rah.

but it is new york, so i really shouldn't complain.

and a few hours after i get back to singapore, LONDON, HERE I COME! chauchau is en route there as we speak! i'll join him once i touch down on evening of the 21st, then we're off to paris for 3days2nights from the 22nd, and back to london till the 29th.

i am excited, can you tell? =D


a bird really shat on me. while i was walking to my favourite nyc sushi omakase restaurant yesterday arvo. daddy and chau reckon it's good luck. gross.

evolution

out of the dusk a shadow,
then, a spark;
out of the cloud a silence,
then, a lark;
out of the heart a rapture,
then, a pain;
out of the dead, cold ashes,
life again.

john banister tabb

waking up early is bad for health

i reckon i've been cursed. by some evil evil person who doesn't want me to sleep past 7.30am, no matter how late i go to bed. i've been waking up at that ungodly hour every single day for the past week (even when i was overseas). in singapore, it allowed me to catch the early bird, tail end of house, followed by csi:ny and globe trekker, and read the papers when it's available. in brisbane, i had long hours of the simpsons to keep me company. i don't think i've watched this much telly in years.

plus, i'd have had my fifth breakfast by 10am.

i have bags under my eyes that scream, "carry me!" rah.

going downhill

these few days have been quite a stretch and it doesn't look like things will be getting any better. a bad flight with an asshole, the release of a terrible roster and me, in hermit mode.

when loneliness washes over, self-worth plummets to a new low and the tears don't seem to want to let up, i wish......

this moment

a nearly sleepless night and an early morning jog without the piggy sister; the sun rising as i panted along, breathing in poo-smelling air. the body moved on auto-pilot while the mind lost itself to this beautiful nic chagall track:

i've been running on, running on empty
for way too many miles now.
i've been flying with broken wings
and now i'm falling faster to the ground.

and it's a bitter end to a story so sweet
like a long lost friend
that's never found a way back to me.
and i can't deny these memories
got me all locked up inside
and you hold the key.

all that i need is this moment
to send me away with a smile on my face.
i tried to leave but i turned back
on my heart remains a trace.

all that i seek is this moment
all day in my mind i recreate
if there was a way to get back
this feeling i'd chase...i'd chase.

all that i need
is this moment.

sunshiny days

chapter 1

the long and short of it all


it took quite a bit of persuasion
and a near panic attack on my part
but in the end, evande prevailed
and i became dora the explorer:

or so jenn claims. i don't think we look alike. AT ALL.

gadget whore

my recent acquisition of a new ipod nano, the nike+ ipod kit, and armband AND underwater casing for my nano has prompted an increase (hopefully not short-lived) in sporting activity. been running much more often and for longer and while my weight doesn't seem to have fallen, i do feel a tad healthier.

reading murakami's what i talk about when i talk about running has also given me inspiration and the added, much-needed push to get out of whichever comfy bed i happen to be snuggling in to go for a run.

i do need to swim more to further test out the underwater casing though. my first use of it went well initially, only to have my nano die on me after four songs because it ran out of battery. *cue three-dimensional "L"*

speaking of murakami, and lifting off an idea from jenn's blog, this is what i thought about when i was running earlier in the hotel's gym here in manchester:

why is the gym so cold?
i need to pee.
why is this screen so fuzzy?
i need to pee. badly.
cnn is repetitive and boring.
bbc is too.
peeeeeeeeeee.
this towel smells bad.
why are the other channels even fuzzier?
oh look, there're people walking by.
people are boring.
it's raining.
my reflection is boring.
uh no, knees starting to hurt.
it's not raining anymore.
yum, water.
peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
help. legs. dying.
it's raining again.
is it bloody 10km yet?!

and so on. now, all i can think of is a good, hard massage.

dreamstate


an hour's sleep after an overnight flight.
lunch that made time fly by.
post-swim, awaiting dinner.
lying on my bed and gazing out the window.
the evening sky looks like one big bubblegum paddle pop.

hocus pocus

i recently spoke to, on separate occasions, people with deeper-than-normal knowledge of and belief in horoscopes, some of whom take it upon themselves to find out what a person's zodiac sign is before deciding whether to pursue a relationship.

i've always thought horoscope readings were bullshit that people like professor tralawney come up with when they get bored looking into their crystal globes.

i do agree that i possess many of the scorpio characteristics though. and it is entertaining clicking through some of those websites, for a while anyway. apparently, my best bet for a best friend is a virgo or a capricorn but i have very few friends who fall into that category and my two bffs are aquarius and leo. romance-wise, seems like i should be looking for a capricorn, cancer or taurus.

erm. right.

why did you have to go?


at times like this, i miss you all the more.
you would have understood.

nobody deserves to be treated this way


you're not my favourite person in the world
but that was a low, low blow they dealt you tonight
and i'm sorry you had to go through all that.

i have smart and witty friends


me: "loony, are you heading out tonight?"
loon: NOT IF YOU ARE!
me: "i h8 you"
loon: as long as you don't h1n1 me!

-----
alvin: i thought of you when i heard the news
but then i saw "22-year-old".
you where got so old?!

rofl.

all fall down

singapore just reported our first confirmed case of h1n1 and the lady came back from new york just one day after me! i'd be in aloha by now if she'd taken my flight instead!

the big apple was as lovely as ever. a tad chilly when i first got there but it got progressively warmer and we all turned a little red in the face. managed to meet up with all my lovely new yorkers at least once and my 3day2night trip to the niagara falls was quite a success in that we made it there, over to canada, and back without much mishap. however, as we took up one of those "cheap" chinatown bus tours, our coach consisted of 50% indians, 40% china-ese, and the other 10% were made up of random singaporeans, malaysians, and the odd ang moh. our first guide didn't seem to know much of what was happening, couldn't speak english NOR mandarin properly, filled her sentences with a million "maybe", "actuarry", and "sometimes", and was quite disorganized. but well, an arduous 12-hour bus ride, a packet of curly fries, 2 lousy burgers and minimum sleep later, we arrived and made it in time for the twilight set at the falls so i guess it wasn't all too bad.

stopped over at the corning museum of glass first where we were treated to all sorts of glassware and a live demonstration of how glass is made:


finally, just before 9pm, we reached the horseshoe falls:


the next day dawned bright and early (arhaha like some primary school compo) and we made our way back to see the falls in its daytime glory, caught an imax movie about stupid/courageous/suay people who fell down/travelled along the treacherous waters, and got on the maid of the mist tour that brought us up close and personal with the niagara (and got away drenched but still alive to tell the tale).



desmond had to hold my raincoat down when we were on the boat coz the wind was whipping it all over the shop and, even with his help, most of what i saw when we were near the falls was in a pretty shade of blue. "where's the hole? where's the hole for your face?!"

the guide left the five of us to return to new york with the rest of the group (coz they only signed up for the 2day1night tour) so the rest of the day was spent free and easy so we ventured across the rainbow bridge and WALKED to canada! good thing we did too coz the view was so much nicer from there and the ontario side of the falls was so much more beautiful and civilized (omg cafes! less indians! less chinese!).






a lot of walking, plenty of sunshine, millions of photo-stops, one super cute squirrel, a plate of buffalo wings, and 5 pairs of tired legs later, we'd walked the long stretch alongside the waters from the rainbow bridge to the horseshoe falls and went for a journey behind the falls:


thereafter, we went on another long and tiring walk back to the new york side of things, collapsed on our beds when we finally got to the hotel and didn't get up until 5hours later at 10pm when the boys and i decided to venture out into the dead town that is nighttime niagara falls, new york. found that the seneca casino was the only place open, lit, and with people so we spent the night there watching anthony play cards, and having a late supper.

the next day, our second tour guide came to collect us and, after confirming the pick-up time and place for our ride back to new york, we took the other 2 girls to the casino and whiled away the morning in air-conditioned comfort.

the journey back belonged to a whole new nightmare where a group of 20 indians gave themselves a really bad name and annoyed the hell out of everyone else by always coming late, eating and drinking and moving around the bus the whole time, asking to use the toilet even though the guide already said the toilet cannot be used, refusing to pay the suggested service tip coz they claimed the guide was incompetent and racist, kicked up a huge fit to try to prove their point and ended up just making a fool of themselves (though, of course, they didn't think so and were rather pleased with their behaviour). i don't want to be racist but SERIOUSLY, they don't make themselves very lovable! rah.

anyway, after a lot of head nodding, being bumped about our seats and a stop at a winery along finger lake, we finally reached good old new york, had a "yummy noodles" supper, caught up on some sleep, and spent the next 2 days gaigai-ing (love love my 5th ave and soho), eating (oh my darlings sushi of gari, del frisco's, pinkberry and ruby's) and having not enough time to do more!

back in singapore, my brit boys are in town this week so tonight would be seafood paradise + klee + (maybe)mambo and we're wakeboarding tomorrow before i leave for perth on friday. woohoo!

there's something wicked happening outside


it's 5am and i just got woken up by a most magnificent storm.
the sky is taking serious photos of the earth,
accompanied by the low rumble of a fat man,
at times punctuated by the crack of a whip;
the winds seem intent on kicking up a ruckus,
raindrops are battling my window panes.
looking down from my 12-storey matchbox,
i fear for the toy cars passing below.

it's a beautiful world.

old is gold

yesterday was spent catching up with friends i've known for some time - mark and ger from jc times, ting and wanfen from secondary school tuition classes, and ian, whom i got close to towards the end of uni. each meeting took me back to the past and while we've all grown older (sigh), it seems like some things just don't change.

there is comfort and familiarity in being with old friends. conversation flows, words mean more, and even when there is a pause, the cosy silence is never one i feel a panic to fill. i wonder if i'll ever be able to make new friends who will grow old with me this way.

i discovered bar stop last night, after a very yummy meal at suanthai at killiney. we got seats on the second level and had a great view of the band (and the singer's cleavage). the place had a very chill-out, laid-back atmosphere that's great for after-work drinks. it'd be my neighbourhood pub if only i lived in one of those gorgeous apartments opposite. we also went past habitat hostel and i couldn't resist popping in for a look since i missed out on the big stay over last week. mag very kindly gave me the grand tour and i must say, it looks fantastic! clean and friendly, and in such a convenient location. a place i'd definitely recommend.

the off days seem to have flown by and i've got to go to work again on friday. at least i have tomorrow's girly seafood dinner to look forward to and next week, when i'm in new york, i'm gonna go check out that underwater casing for my ipod so that it will no longer be so boring doing laps in the pool!

crossing the line

there has been a spate of sexual harassment cases recently and everyone has been rather careful with his/her actions and words at work (even though we do poke fun at the whole issue sometimes). a common view is that some people are just not mature enough to handle such stuff so when things go awry and they change their minds/come to their senses, they claim to have been taken advantage of.

i'm not saying that all these claims aren't legit - i'm sure there is some truth in a handful of them - i just feel that in many of such cases, it seems as though kids trying to play grown up are crying wolf.

don't play with fire unless you are prepared to get burnt.

that said, i have seen/experienced first hand cases of uninvited remarks and gestures that can be termed suggestive and naughty. while, at most times, they are tongue-in-cheek and mean no harm, there have been instances when people cross the line and it becomes disrespectful. finding out whether another is attached is fine, but asking someone what her favourite sexual position is mere seconds after that is a tad over-familiar, don't you think? especially when the conversation topic wasn't, in any way, heading in that direction. and all these, just a few hours after the guy and the lady in this situation first met.

she was affronted, to say the least. but of course, being diplomatic and not wanting trouble, she laughed it off and wriggled out of answering it.

we may all joke about the issue and most girls just take it in their stride and let the asshole get away with it as long as it's just words, but everyone should remember that there is a fine line between being cheeky and being (c)rude.

one over the other

i've always been hard-pressed to answer questions like "what's your favourite colour?", simply because i can't seem to make a definite choice. with me, it has always been, "well, i like this and this when i'm looking at, say, clothes, but i like that and that when it's other things" or "it depends on my mood, really". or the season. the material. the time of day.

it baffles me when other people seem to be able to answer such questions as if they're so sure of themselves and the choices they've made. in some ways, many of their replies are nearly automatic, like they said, when they were two, that red is their favourite colour and they have to stick to their guns for the rest of their lives.

maybe it's just me but i seldom play favourites. i can't even choose a religion because i feel that every religion has its pros and cons and i want to accept them all and be able to pick what i want to believe in and what i want to learn from each and every one i come in contact with. plus, i feel that all gods are the same god and it's just people's interpretation of things that separate religions.

and i don't think it's me being wishy-washy. i just have broad categories of likes and dislikes and i don't like to narrow things down to one top choice. but it does make me feel rather, alien, because what others seem to be able to do with ease, i have trouble putting a finger on.

on a totally separate, and random, note, it is very important for toilet bowls to be comfortable to sit on. i wouldn't recommend this catalano loo at dubai's traders hotel.

my turn will come


hopefully.

till then, fuck off, useless bums.

i'm off to sipadan on a dive trip tomorrow and i'm well excited about that! KL for half a day before five glorious days of sun, sand, sea and creatures of the underwater world, non-sentosa version. one wonderful week of no work! can'twaitcan'twaitcan'twait! just dug out my dive log and my last dive was in october 2006! holy cow! mooooooo. i'm flying airasia up and they've got baggage restrictions that don't agree with tight-arse-don't-travel-light people like me and i don't know how i'm going to lug my equipment, clothes, toiletries etcetc to tawau without getting charged exorbitant amounts of money. then again, i guess i can survive in a bikini for 5 days so clothes are optional.

damn it. got a paper cut when i was printing out my boarding passes. little slices that hurt like nobody's business. it's the silent ones who kill. rah.

my macbook is acting up again! i think some of the wiring has gone, er, haywire, and now my mouse, trackpad and keyboard sometimes have minds of their own. it's so frustrating!!! is this their little trick then? to create products that crash before 3 years is up so that you have to upgrade/fix/spend more on apple care? i just got back from a red-eye flight and i'm so tired i don't want to make a trip to town just to send it to the doc's. sigh.

argh argh and i need to send my bags to the clinic for a check-up. and visit the money changer. and buy a couple of books for the trip. and dig my dive stuff out. and pack. andandandARGH!!!

what am i still doing here? my middle name begins with the letter "p".

eh, i just discovered games in the app store and have been spending an unhealthy amount of time staring at and tapping on my ipod touch. is very fun! though will look a bit crossed-eyed after a while and can cause nausea if playing for extended amount of time in moving vehicle. ah, my love-hate relationship with all things appley.

divedivedive! come, giant turtles, barracudas, hammerheads all, come to mama!

daddy daddy there's a thing in my room!

that's me quietly screaming when i fled to the living room. and being my dad, he immediately grabbed a magazine and made his way to the scene of the crime.

"what thing?" "i don't know. animal!"

he went directly to where i pointed and, a few seconds later, came the "whack whack" of paper meeting wooden flooring.

"wah where did this big cockroach come from? you want to see? what will you do if i'm not home? hide in a cupboard?"

everything happens for a reason


but sometimes, i really feel like asking,
"hello, don't you think you're making a big mistake here?"

writing about nothing

the straits times' ludicrous reporting (if one can even call it that) of "a link between gaming and violence?" (8 march 2009, page 3) got me boiling mad and filled with injustice.

it is insensitive to sensationalize a non-news by using the photographs of two men who recently made the news because of their deaths; it is unprofessional and unethical to create a story out of thin air since no concrete evidence has been found to suggest that gaming was the cause of these deaths; the experts' opinions in no way suggested that gaming and violence were linked (in fact, they concurred that it is rare that playing video games will cause aggressive behaviour).

this article was unnecessary and unjustified. "reporters" jamie ee, mavis toh, huang huifen, and the straits times personnel who allowed it to go to print - shame on you.

we are much too young


well, it feels that way at least.

we were, at best, acquaintances. the occasional hi-bye at parties, tons of mutual friends, exchanges of smiles when we happened to pass by each other. his disappearance caused quite a stir end of last year, there was much speculation but nobody really knew what was going on. still, it comes as a shock. the finality of it all. for one who had such a bright future ahead of him.

whatever it was, allan, i hope you're now at peace.

there's something therapeutic...

...about sitting by my window, watching fighter jets zoom across the blueorangewhitegreypinkafterrain sky.

reverie


gun-metal sky pelting down near-invisible bullets,
millions of diamonds overhead, traveling down multi-layered slides.

your palm on the small of my back,
steering me away from the ants' pool i did not see.
hands hovering above my head,
laughingly attempting to catch the rain before it reached me.
arms round each other, two monkeys against the tide.

my mind knows better
but at times, you still make my heart sing.

only one kind...

i will never understand why people take babies to the cinemas, especially when the film is one like valkyrie. one bomb at the beginning of the film and the thing starts bawling. seriously.

what with this week being an incredibly slow one filled with standbys and being called up for numerous 330 turnarounds, i've had a lot of time on my hands and have been spending many long hours swept up in the various magical worlds created by neil gaiman. it's a great joy re-reading his books and they never fail to bring about a little wistfulness and hopeful dreaming.

to combat the nua feeling and in an attempt to lose the christmas/chinese new year bulk, i've been getting off my ass and going for a run every other day. was very proud of half a saturday spent pounding a stretch of concrete that's part of the park connector network, hitting many balls at the driving range and doing some laps in the pool. of course, i rewarded myself with a big lunch of curry fish head after all that. sigh.

take a step back

january has flown by and we're well into our second month of 2009. some backtracking needs to be done!

christmas 2008 - family and good friends, a bbq and reindeer antlers, polaroids and gift exchanges, and all things green and red:



new year 2009 - a cold cold new york, rediscovering long lost friends, good food and an underground new year's eve party!

chinese new year 2009 - family and steamboat, a hong kong turnaround that yielded four numbers, winning 4d and laughing nonstop throughout dinner, prive with the cousin, 6 and a quiet, musical night at klee, ah beng ktv club, red packets and oranges, a trip to hong kong and san francisco, and my very pretty nails =)


hong kong on the way up to san fran - andong and his black eye, thompson and sally; mongkok and the ant-like crowd; ifc, maxim's and element's; and a really bad tea at delifrance.

hong kong on the way back - eric, chang inn, lucky dessert and riding the tetra-pack-on-wheels (ie. the tram) for the first time; mad yum cha lunch and rude hong kong people; thompson and our first time checking out sevva (a drinks/dessert place on top of prince's building, with the most amazing view of the city); causeway bay and a pair of boots!




going even further back, cairo! -
grey, dusty, dreary, concrete are words that first spring to mind when i first set foot on cairo. the buildings looked like they've been bombed (and i later found out that many have been left unfinished because the people don't have to pay taxes for buildings that have not been completed), there was a herd of goats eating bits of rubbish in a clearing in the middle of no where, the trains looked like they're about to fall apart, clothes hung out to dry on people's balconies looked like they are in dire need of another wash, and don't even get me started on the traffic!

on my first night there though, a bunch of us went for the nile river cruise on the memphis and it was rather enjoyable. the buffet dinner wasn't fantastic but the entertainment more than made up for it. there was a tranny belly dancer, the spinning man wearing hugeass skirts, singers, music and lots of dancing.



the next day, we had breakfast bright and early at the executive lounge (thanks to the pilots for inviting us up!), caught a breathtaking view of the city, and set off in search of the pyramids! but first, we stopped by the egyptian museum for a heavy dose of history:



no photos allowed inside the museum but i saw plenty of coffins and ancient artefacts and met tutankhamun and friends.

we then stopped by a papyrus shop to learn how papyrus is transformed from plant to paper and got suckered into buying some before moving on to kfc.yes. kfc. but this is a kfc with a difference! this is the only kfc where you can enjoy a view of the giza pyramids while tucking into your finger-licking-good zinger!


the area near kfc and the pyramids, filled with camels, donkeys and conmen:


and finally...*drumroll* the pyramids!



we even went into one of the pyramids and it was truly claustrophobic in there. we had to stoop down rather low and climb down a long flight of narrow stairs, catch our breath at the bottom landing, then climb up another flight of narrow stairs to this little "cave" with a dirty little old man who pointed us to the area where the coffin was placed, gave us 5 seconds to ooo and ahh, then shooed us out (but not before asking for a tip first). a very interesting experience.

caught a glimpse of the sphinx as well, and had to bat away kids who were trying to sell us useless touristy things like postcards and pyramid paperweights. got away from there for a little bit when we were herded into a perfume shop and were entertained by the boss who served up some lovely hibiscus tea, super strong coffee, and all sorts of nose-tickling concoctions. got suckered into buying a bottle of "nefertiti".


it was dark by the time we emerged from the perfume shop so we decided to catch the sound and light show! the pyramids and the sphinx came to life!


day before check-out, we went to the bazaar to look at more dusty, touristy things, haggle with the shop owners ("hello, how much?" 15 pounds "siao. okay byeeeee"), were greeted with "kawaii!", "ni hao" and "oni!", and rubbed shoulders with the locals.





back at the hotel, we went up to a spot i discovered on my way to the gym earlier that day to take photos of the river nile and the roads and buildings around our hotel:



yay. it's been a while since i last blogged this way. happy niu year, everyone!

that bright white orb

the moon has been particularly brilliant lately and i've been spending an inordinate amount of time lying in bed, just looking at it, and thinking. sleep escapes me some times and what better way to spend an insomniac night than by staring at the moon?

new year, old gripes

people who speak without thinking, and/or who say rubbish just for the sake of speaking, must be among the top most irritating people in the world. senseless/brainless speech that fills up empty space but hold no weight should be banned. i must admit i'm not the most tolerant of people and we don't all have to be brainiacs but seriously, putting a little thought into a conversation, or just keeping your mouth shut, wouldn't hurt all that much.

i also don't understand dodgy people who lie and keep things from their friends. yes, everyone has their secrets, but there's a major problem when one conceals simple things and evades questions like, "oh, where are you now?" and "will you be meeting her later?". it truly baffles me.

people who push and shove and invade another's personal space should be jailed.

yes, it's 2009, and i'm the same old grouch i was in 2008.

things to be thankful for
just so this post is not all complain-y...

a loving family - my crazy sis, a mum who worries way too much, and the dad who still holds my hand when we're out walking; cousins who meet for the occasional supper that lasts the whole night (and morning), aunts and uncles who care.

good friends - for the laughs, for quiet comfort, for boisterous outings, for the shoulder to cry on.

traveling - bright sunshine and harsh winters; breakfast in singapore, lunch over the pacific, dinner in new york; strangers and familiar faces.

the little things.

looking down from heaven




a bit of sunshine amongst the clouds.

a new year, a fresh lease of life.
goodbye 2008,
here's hoping for a good 2009.