zenn bites...

since i have decided that today is zenn-is-a-bimbotic-milk-carton day, i am going to be a complete airhead and complain about not having a suitable dress for my next big event.

the milk dinner 2005 will be held on 31st october (next monday, too soon too soon) and i've got nothing to wear. it is a black tie dinner with all the who's whos coming, and that is absolutely appalling.

to top that off, my colleague told me a few days ago that my boss has put me in charge of the auction, and i may have to "show off" some of the jewelry.

i may be a bimbo today, but i am no model.

i will never be 1.8metres tall, i do not have flawless skin, i am not gorgeous and sultry, i do not have big boobs, and i refuse to do the whole smile smile look-at-me smile smile twinkle-in-the-eye buy-me smile smile thing.

plus, i do not have THE DRESS.

i need it black so that i can flutter about in the shadows and be the wonderfully invisible events co-ordinator sashaying about making sure that all the things in my corner are going good.

i need it formal yet not stuffy; sexy yet not revealing; looking a million dollars yet just costing a minute fraction of that.

i need it atas and slinky and body-hugging so that the taitais in their $100,000 gowns with their $1,000,000 blingblings, $100,000 cosmetic surgeries and $10,000 hair&makeup can look at me - the spritely young thing - green-eyed (and not the colored contact lenses kind) instead of with distaste tsktsk.

*lifts chin up and flicks hair*

i kid. how will i ever be able to contend with them.

i want to say that, most importantly, i need a good, sensible head on my shoulders and above my dress (whatever it will be), coz that's the serious i-don't-want-to-screw-up i-must-not-say-the-wrong-things-to-the-wrong-people part of me talking, but i'm supposed to be a bimbo so i shall desist.

oh woe oh woe is me *brushes delicate hand across forehead dramatically*
wherefore art thou, dress!?!?!?! (and i haven't even been looking =/)