zenn bites...

a friend dreamt of me sitting on the edge of a window (do windows have edges?) on the 17th floor...

should i jump or should i not?

i don't think i've ever been suicidal...in fact, i think it's a rather stupid, not to mention ugly, way to go...it may take me away from all the shitty things and all the confusions, and perhaps it would solve some things for me...the easy way out, so to speak...but i don't want those left behind - those who love me - to have to live through it...

i especially don't want to hurt my parents in that way...

i've often felt like i'm sitting on a window..debating on whether to jump and escape, or to turn and step back into the room...

these days it seems like i'm just perched precariously on the sill...waiting.... w a i t i n g . . . . .