zenn bites...

it's been awhile...

so many thoughts, yet words can't seem to be formed well enough to express them.
i've said what i've needed to say. i think.

you're tired. and so am i. so very very tired.

so drained from all the crying.
so exhausted from all the explaining.
so sore from trying to understand.

coz i don't. i really don't understand.
and you don't either.
or so you say.

now i feel a rawness too deep for tears.
now i wonder if i'd just been stupid.
so stupid to go in so deep.

it's so hard to walk away.
and you say it's hard for you too.
you're hurting. well, so am i.

how can 2 people be so important to each other,
yet have to be apart?
if i mean as much to you as you say i do,
then how can you do this to me?

so many whys you can't answer.
or choose not to.

in one instance, i lost.
so many things i held dear.

now i hide behind normalcy.
i put on my mask of smiles.
i bite back the words,
hold back the tears.

just to go out there,
just to keep myself occupied.

after all the anger, the talks,
the betrayal, the love,
we try to pick up the pieces.

we try to stay apart,
but somehow, we always find each other.
so we tiptoe around it,
and speak in normal tones, of normal things.

yet it still haunts me.
and perhaps it haunts you too.