*edited!
i had a ball of a time reading the newspapers this morning.
not when i was reading the serious issues of course - the guy who made a little girl perform oral sex on him over a period of 6 years from when she was just 5 years old is just sick sick sick!!! he even made her do it on him in his children's bedroom, while her parents were outside chatting with his wife!!!!!!! that's just so wrong on so many levels!!!!! how can anyone do such a thing?!?!?!
and he's only given a 21-year jail sentence and 8 strokes of the cane. he deserves to be made to perform oral sex on one million homophobic, fat, ugly, pedophilic bastards. he deserves to die.
the poor little girl is scarred for life, her family highly traumatized (imagine her parents, their guilt for having entrusted their child in this menace's care), and let's not even go into how this must be affecting the bastard's wife and 2 daughters!!!
fuck. why are there such people around?
serious issues aside though, there were some amusing gems packed in those dirty pages. or maybe i'm just in a good mood haha (all riled up by the reports on that bastard, but still in a general good mood =/)
today page 20: if roads too dangerous to drive, take the "bmw"
a certain mr john chye wrote in in response to the idea of the death penalty for traffic offenders, and proposed that drivers who think singapore's roads are too dangerous for driving should take the bmw:
- bus - slow and steady. even if a driver swerves into your lane, it is not you who has to appl the brakes abruptly
- mrt - nobody is going to cut into your lane
- walk - exercise is good for you
straits times prime page 4: boosting ties with gift of bull semen
am i the only one who did a double take after reading that headline?
apparently, a singapore government agency (international singapore enterprise) has helped boost ties with china's shandong province - and its cows - by donating a bumper batch of high-quality bull semen.
the semen - sufficient for 200 cows - was procured from prize american and canadian bulls and presented on monday by singapore's agri-food and veterinary authority to the shandong provincial husbandry bureau.
how you present semen, i don't know. but i do know that there will be lots of angmoh-looking cheena calves running around in the near future...
life! page 4: grey matters
yes i know that life! is frivolous, but it's more often than not the first section i read everyday. today's offer's full of old people doing stuffs and looking really young - is it just me or does the supposedly 70-year-old singer on the front page look distinctly un-70-year-old?!
anyway...tee hun ching's life's journey column put up some precious quotes that were from the not dead yet column in the Times of london. shall trawl the net for more, but here are my favourites from today's column:
"from an Aids information leaflet picked up at the border of botswana and namibia: '...sexually active people (defined as between the ages of 19 and 40)..." ~simon fernley, bath~
"some truths about ageing: things you buy now won't wear out. you can have a party and the neighbours won't even notice. your secrets are safe with your friends, because they won't remember them." ~mike & pam bird, kingsdown, bristol~
and i found this especially sweet:
"now that i'm in my 70s, i keep telling my wife what an advantage it is for her to be married to a palaeontologist: the older she gets, the more i love her." ~stuart baldwin, witham, essex~
aww gime a palaeontologist please!
.: baby, don't not-yet-dead people's ramblings sound so much better than dead people's ramblings? haha! :.
today timepiece special
i laughed out loud when i chanced upon this ingenious swatch ad:
the large men in poofy girly tutus, fat feet encased in delicate ballet shoes, and that forlorn little girl in the corner - priceless!thus ends my review of today's newspapers. back to work! *roar*
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