zenn bites...

‘A traffic jam when you’re already late
…isn’t it ironic…dontcha think?
A little too ironic…’

- Ironic by Alanis Morissette -

It was like a busy swimming pool in the city today. People cutting into my lane each time I tried to advance. Schools of them appeared to swish into my path. Whole streets were littered with human blockades. All I was trying to do was walk.

Ironic? Indeed. Why do I always seem to get held back the most when I’m in a rush?

Couples arm in arm wandering snail-like, lost in their secluded, romantic world; mothers like drunk drivers without licenses, wildly pushing their little ones in prams. The worst are those who think they are the Great Wall of China – those giggling groups of friends who saunter in a row. They take up the entire width of the path, and force you to either curse silently and endure crawling behind them, or to veer off into incoming traffic.

Perhaps the rest of the world simply moves at a slower pace than I do, most of the time. For how else can I explain the fact that people always seem to be in my way when I am blitzing down the streets?

When I’ve got all the time in the world strolling and window-shopping, my path is clear and wide. But once I have an agenda that requires prompt attention, a swift progress to my destination is always an impossible task.

Is there a sign above my head informing others to block my way every time I’m in a hurry? Or maybe they seriously did not intend to impede my movements. Maybe they just happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

The more objective, less impatient side of me tells me that I too have been one of these hindrances several times. I’ve obstructed and annoyed others who had more important things to do in life than meander aimlessly behind me. I did not mean to of course, for I am a considerate person. It just so happened that I was not walking fast enough for the person behind me.

Even hindering others annoy me. You see, the hindered often do irritating things. Like fuss, swear, push, and tread on my nice clean runners. Though I must confess, I too am guilty of doing these to those who encumber me. If you look closely enough, you’ll be able to see many shoes on the streets that have my muddy boot-print stamped on them.

May I be as bold as to suggest a possible solution, or a potential improvement, to these ‘pedestrian problems’?

In Singapore, we have signboards and campaigns that encourage people to keep to the left when using escalators at train stations. This way, those in a hurry have a clearway to dash off without having to weave through the crowd. Perhaps this ‘rule’ should be taken out to work on the streets too.

Follow the examples of cars on the roads – keep left unless overtaking. Or turning right, naturally (unless you're doing hook turns in melbourne). It is a simple method that will allow those illustrious ants an unobstructed passageway to scamper by. While you can enjoy the scenery, smell the roses, and take in a slow breath of fresh (or polluted) air.

I’ve proposed this idea to many friends, and most agree with me that this system would be feasible. The less hindering there is, the lower percentage of annoyed pedestrians. Thus there will be fewer violent episodes like jostling, stepping and cursing, and an altogether more pleasant travelling experience.

Of course, there are those who say I am simply being ‘anal’ about it all. They say that society has done well without the need for this system. I think they will change their minds once they encounter human barriers next time they’re in a rush.

I will be test-driving this system, though I fully comprehend that little me can hardly make a difference on the streets. Well, every little counts right? I’m sure the movements of a few other fellow-pedestrians will be made so much more efficient by my doing so. At least it’ll minimise the number of people tutting and chasing on my heels. I hope.

I’ll therefore be keeping to the left next time you scurry by on my right. And maybe after the shock hits you – the shock of how breezy and swift I have made your travelling; of how uncluttered your path has become – you’ll thank me for making such a brilliant suggestion. And deem this system fit enough for you to consider abiding by it.

But beware. If I am the busy bee doing the buzzing, you will definitely do better by keeping to your side of the road while I kamikaze past!