zenn bites...

someone once told me that sometimes i don't know how to keep friends - coz i don't ask people out.

hmmm i guess that may be true. i don't often ask people out. but not coz i don't want to keep them as friends, but...i guess my inferiority complex often makes me wonder why people want to even hang out with me.

plus i'm not really good with rejections.

i don't like to force my company on others. so i wait...for people to say "hey, want to meet up?" (yes i know i'm passive. i know it's not good. don't scold me.)

i can be boring. sometimes i don't even say much. if i'm with someone i'm comfortable being with, i can just be there and watch that person - which kinda makes me weird. i'm comfortable with silence. when i'm with the right person/people.

sometimes i don't want to do any of the planning. i just want to follow. i want to listen to the plans, or go with the flow of planless meet-ups. and i just want to...relax...take a chill pill...hang...

being out in a group, i often feel...nothing. i go out, i join in the activities i want to, i have fun. but i'm often the one who lags behind, or walks on ahead. i'm often the one who doesn't say much, and just...looks. it's like watching telly sometimes - all these people who are brought together by chance. a rainbow of personalities.

it's the best reality show ever. and it's nice that some of my closest friends are the stars.

or the ones watching along with me...